I have always been a cheater. I mean, with regard to relationships. Even when I didn’t actually do anything about it, I cheated emotionally, by giving emotional time and energy to someone else besides my current (supposedly monogamous) love relationship.
This pattern started in high school. My junior year I was dating a boy two years younger than me. Things went well the first few months — I really did like him, and I wanted to do the right thing. I had the occasional impulse, but I controlled them.
Then, in early spring, I found myself attracted to a boy who sat next to me in my trombone section. I didn’t try very hard to stay loyal, and I soon broke up with the first boy. It was quite thrilling, with the usual excitement of a brand new relationship. My adrenalin was high and I was euphoric (looking back, I wonder if this might have been my first episode of hypomania).
Unfortunately, this new relationship didn’t last, either. After about two months my mind started wandering (probably because the second one and I had virtually nothing in common) and there I was, cheating again.
The really strange thing was that this pattern repeated in my senior year. With the same three guys, at approximately the same time of year. I’m surprised they weren’t watching out for me at that point, but of course, it was “just” high school. We weren’t getting married or anything like that.
Okay, how is this connected to music? Virtually EVERYTHING in my life has been connected to music. (lol) Mickey Gilley had a No. 1 hit in 1981 called “You Don’t Know Me.”
Now, in most cases when I apply a song to my life I am the person singing, but occasionally I cast some other person in my life as the “singer.” In this case, I saw the first boy as singing “You Don’t Know Me:”
You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside that lucky guy
You’ll never, never know
The one that loves you so
You don’t know me.
Sentimental and silly, I know. Sigh. But it did twist my heart every time I heard it, and eventually I got back together with him… for awhile. But that’s another story.