5-Minute Friday: My Own Path

I have usually tried to follow my own path, even though sometimes it was not in my best interest. My hobbies, my music, my clothing, even my thoughts and feelings, were often chosen with the distinct purpose of being different.

I felt that the only way I would ever be noticed was to be eccentric.

Otherwise, I thought, I would just fade into the background.

Sometimes I wanted to fade away, and at those times I went along with the crowd, concealing what was truly inside me. But I always felt like a stranger, a part of the world but separated from it by an invisible membrane. Even when I tried, there was something in between me and everyone else. Whether I fought against it or lived with it, it was always there.

Now I have a son who, I think, has grown up with a membrane around him too. He makes choices with an eye to getting attention, even if it is negative attention. In fact, he prefers the negative because he doesn’t feel worthy of anything else.

I look at him and wonder, how will I ever reach him? How can I help him see that he doesn’t have to be separate, or a stranger, or a person that just doesn’t fit in? How can I invite him to become a part of our world?

Perhaps I will have to push through my membrane in order to get through his. I’m scared, but for his sake, I will face my fears.

Harmony through Nature: Seven Steps to Stillness – Beliefnet.com

Harmony through Nature: Seven Steps to Stillness – Beliefnet.com.

I’ve been a fan of Beliefnet.com for a long time. The site provides information and resources for the worldwide variety of religious practices, as well as an interesting questionnaire to determine what religions are closest to one’s personal beliefs (there is a caveat that states they are not responsible for one’s immortal soul, lol).

A number of daily or weekly newsletters, such as a daily Bible reading and weekly Buddhist prayers, are available from the site. The article referenced above explains ways to use nature to meditate and find peace. In my opinion, they could be used by members of most religions as they are not dependent on any particular dogma.